Gamer Hate

Belligerently lacking in remorse.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

World of Warcraft : The Widow Maker

World of Warcraft breaking up marriages is nothing new (at least not to me). However, I seriously question whether or not World of Warcraft or any MMORPG is the actual cause of the problem. You see, in all of these cases where we see a news story about a game breaking up a marriage or relationship, we only see one side. The poor weepy widow who has lost their significant other to a game. I have to wonder what the argument of the other side might be given that no one ever asks them.

Being a gamer myself I’ve been in a few situations where I was accused of choosing a game over my significant other (S.O. for short). In every situation where that accusation was made, I had chosen to play the game because my S.O. was busy doing their own thing. Sometimes beading (an insidious hobby btw which invariably ends with beads all over the damn carpet), sometimes reading, sometimes knitting, and occasionally other bizarre things that women think they should do because they aren’t pregnant or currently indisposed with a child or a pet that takes the place of a child.

It’s funny how a woman won’t even care what you’re doing until you’re actually enjoying yourself doing something else. Of all the things that women like to do in their spare time, they will drop every single one of them in a heartbeat if their man is enjoying doing something on his own, and then begin bugging him until he stops what he’s doing and pays attention to them. What’s funny is how this aligns with the basic rules of attracting women. You don’t want to be constantly available to them, cause they’ll get bored. However, if you feign disinterest, they will immediately become interested in why you are not interested in them. Sadly this carries over into the relationship.

Why is he not paying attention to me?! It’s that damn game, World of Warcraft! It’s destroying our marriage, boo friggin hoo.

Ladies, it’s called a hobby. You have many of them and when your man wants to play some grabass with you while you’re doing your hobby, you get annoyed as all hell. Why is it then that you think when your man is enjoying his own hobby, that you can suddenly interrupt it to get some attention without it causing any problems? Well, primarily because most women are hypocrites, but also because you generally think your time is more valuable than anything your hubby might be doing. What you fail to remember is that when he wanted some loving, you weren’t paying attention because you were too busy reading the latest Cosmo…

It’s a two way street. If you want your hobby time to be uninterrupted, let him have his. If it’s really a huge issue, schedule that time. But just because someone wants to take a couple hours out of their day to enjoy a game doesn’t mean they don’t care about you anymore. The fact of the matter is, all men know that once you pump that first kid out, you’re never going to pay any attention to us again. So let us have our little escape world. Once you finally get your precious embryo, the only Vag we’ll be seeing for the next year is on a computer screen. You’ll be lucky if we’re just playing World of Warcraft.

And to you, Jocelyn, who lost your husband to World of Warcraft. Setting the criteria of your next boyfriend not being a gamer is pretty stupid, given you yourself are a gamer. I’m sure you’d much prefer an alcoholic or a pederast to a gamer at this point, but there are many forms of addiction in this world. Your real issue was picking a guy who had addictive behavior patterns. I’m sure there were indicators before World of Warcraft which you overlooked. There are a lot of guys who play games who know when to put the game down, but given I’ve only seen your side of the breakup with your husband, I have to wonder what your part in things was… It’s easy to blame a game, it’s harder to analyze what actually went wrong and correct them because that would require taking responsibility for your own part in what happened. Maybe you were giving him shit all the time and he used WoW as an escape to get away from your constant whining?

Truth is, I don’t have any idea what happened in your marriage, but blaming games or gamers in general is stupid. Everyone needs to take responsibility for their own damn actions. World of Warcraft didn’t end your marriage. Your husband chose to do something more fun than hang out with you. Now why would WoW be more fun than you? I don’t know, I wasn’t there, but the next guy you’re with. I’d be willing to bet he’ll find something more entertaining than you as well, and since you won’t date gamers, I bet it won’t be games.

posted by CommanderHate at 6:35 pm  


  1. WOW, like any drug, is a choice. Replace the word “WOW” with “Cocaine” or “Golf” or “Fishing” or “Work” and that article would belong on the front page of The Onion.

    I’ve been on both sides of this issue as a guy. I dated a girl who started out extremely interesting, then rapidly became a one-note song. I liked to play WOW, and often used it as either an excuse, or an escape instead of spending time with her. Eventually we broke up (nothing to do with WOW) but ultimately WOW was a symptom rather than a cause of a bad relationship.

    On the other hand, I quit WOW after 2 years of hardcore endgame raiding because I grew apart from my ingame friends, and made new friends IRL. I continually refuse to restart my WOW account because my social needs are met and I enjoy spending time with RL friends. I suppose if I were lonely or needed an escape from my life, I’d pick up WOW again.

    I especially like how she says “*I* set aside 30 minutes for us to watch a TV show”. Did he even have a say in the matter? I couldn’t give two shits about most of the crap on TV lately (except Battlestar Galactica).

    Sadly, 6p-3a can be an average raid schedule. 8-hour instances were one of the many, many reasons I quit WOW…

    Comment by Technohazard — February 19, 2008 @ 10:38 pm

  2. Interesting comments.. So here is the widowers perspective. My hubby plays WOW the minute he gets home from work to the minute he goes to bed. He is running to the toilet and smoke breaks so he doesn’t miss out. Now he was into games and stuff for years but we got back from our honeymoon and he asked if he could by WOW,, I didnt know what the game was so I said yes. There should be a warning on that game.. He doesn’t keep in contact with any friends, go out socially unless I force him, nor family and I had to continually tell him to call his own grandfather who has cancer. Then there is me – the wife. Lucky to get 10 minutes a day with him actually listening or participating in conversation… Whats going to happen if we haver have a family? Let alone what its doing to his health. I had an operation recently and to get him to help me around the place means I have to constantly ask or nag him… So thats the widowers side. Sure he can have his hobby.. we all do. But not to the detriment of life..

    Comment by jacqui — March 16, 2008 @ 2:12 am

  3. Your husband has an addictive personality. Be thankful that you found that out BEFORE you had kids. I recommend therapy.

    My point is, it’s not games. It’s an addiction. Just be glad it’s not alcohol.

    Comment by CommanderHate — March 18, 2008 @ 1:02 pm

  4. Hobbie??? Nobody is saying “NO” to a hobbie, opposite to what you say I don’t give him a bollocking everytime he plays a game while I am “reading my Cosmo” (How limited is your view of women??). I play the ocassional game sometimes but we are talking about a partner that goes to bed at 4 in the morning to wake up at 9, play for an hour or so, go to work, come back, play, maybe have dinner if he is in the mood, spend an hour with me (because I make him) and ask me to go to sleep so he can play from 11 pm to 4 in the morning again. EVERY SINGLE DAY! Except on his days off where he plays from the moment he wakes up.

    I am not saying NO to something you do to entertain yourself, I say No to the partner that ignores me, to the partner that doesn’t listen to what I have to say even when I chose to leave him alone and have his space, to the partner that goes away one weekend to go to a LAN party and spends ridiculous money on new computers, stupid expensive headsets, mice or games…

    and what about Sex life?? only when he has a break.

    I didn’t know hobbies could do that to people

    Comment by Paola — March 22, 2008 @ 10:57 am

  5. I recently found out my boyfriend of 6 years has been having cybersex for the entire time he’s been playing WoW and the entire 6 years of our relationship. He recently met a girl who just graduated high school (he’s 32) and they are in love. I actually walked in on him while he was masturbating with her. He neglects things, he won’t feed his dog, he won’t pay his bills, he won’t do anything other than sit at his computer when he’s at home. I gave up on this relationship a long time ago, This isn’t a hobby, this is a way to escape reality and yes I understand that sometimes you want to do that, but not at the risk of your emotional well being and the emotional well being of your families and not to the extent where you neglect your own self. He claims I made him this way, well go me, I have all this power to control the mind of another.

    Comment by Trisha — August 12, 2008 @ 3:22 am

  6. Hehe, he sounds like a pathetic individual. Be glad you’re rid of him.

    My only point is that just because someone plays World of Warcraft, doesn’t mean they’re going to be the same way. There are MANY gamers out there who can play games responsibly and make plenty of time for their loved ones.

    Any hobby can be taken to an extreme where an individual will ignore their friends, family and loved ones. The important life note here is to not take one sick person’s obsession and take that to mean that EVERYONE who has any similarity to them is going to be the same.

    Games do not make people behave the way your exes did. The only person who controls their behavior is themselves.

    Comment by CommanderHate — August 12, 2008 @ 9:30 am

  7. Interesting. Adviced to friends

    Comment by Travis — August 24, 2008 @ 11:21 pm

  8. To begin with I am a gamer….. I never let the game rule my life like my sister’s soon to be ex husband. He does nothing but play the world of warcraft but wanted this little girl she will have well when she was 7 months pregnant he was not spending time at all with her and then one day turned to her and told her that a month ago he met a girl and saying girl because that is all she is (22 and lost custody of both children ) out in Texas and there are a lot of people in his section that live out there and all they do is play this game so he told her that she is moving out there…. So I think it has a little to do with the person A. If they get a addicted easily B. If they are stupid C. If they believe everything that people tell them.

    Comment by Darkkitty — August 29, 2008 @ 4:56 am

  9. […] I had indicated that gaming could turn into an addiction just like any other abuse substance. That put some […]

    Pingback by Gamer Hate » Compulsive Gaming is NOT an AddictionCommanderHate was WRONG! — December 11, 2008 @ 12:13 pm

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