Gamer Hate

Belligerently lacking in remorse.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Stop Uwe Boll
The Petition Needs YOU!

If you haven’t heard, Uwe Boll said that he would stop making movies if a million people asked. Last I checked the petition was just over 200,000, up about 150,000 when I first signed. We need to make a million signatures, if for no other reason than to humiliate Uwe Boll for being a gigantic fucktard.

In case you are not in the know or somehow have managed to avoid all of his horrifically bad movies, Uwe Boll is almost single handedly responsible for the glut of mind numbingly awful video game movies that have come out in the past 10 years. How he managed to continually gain access to new video game licenses is beyond me as anyone who would actually hand this monster the license to make another game movie after the horrors that were Alone in the Dark and House of the Dead would have to be a brain amputee. Yet somehow, he managed to get Bloodrayne and Dungeon Siege. I can only assume all the contracts were signed many years ago all at the same time using the blood of sacrificial babies while Satan watched over the proceedings and nodded in approval.

It’s not that I hate Uwe Boll as a person… Okay, I do hate him as a person… But his films are absolute shit and he thinks they are great. They are proven to be pieces of crap and yet he accuses other directors (like Michael Bay) of being crap. Uwe Boll is the crap that craps crap… If the feces were anymore concentrated within him, it would form a black hole that would destroy the universe.

Honestly though, he doesn’t seem to know anything about movies. He just imitates what others have done and thinks that it’s good. Dungeon Siege mirrored Lord of the Rings (POORLY) on just about every scene that it had. All that he managed to do was make me snicker sullenly as I noticed how badly he was imitating Peter Jackson’s epic. I guess that’s a step up from the outright derisive laughter I eschewed onto House of the Dead (which I caught on tv before I knew what awful really was). But if the best you can do is copy Lord of the Rings shittily, why are you making movies in the first place? Find your own fucking creative vision you talentless hack…

So listen up people, if you ever respected video games as an entertainment medium, you will do your part to help stop this monster from ever making a film again (even if the effort itself is semi-futile). He is a detriment to all forms of entertainment, and it pains me that he’s simultaneously able to destroy movies and video games. Stop him… STOP HIM!

Sign the petition!

posted by CommanderHate at 6:29 pm  

1 Comment »

  1. 300,000 (nearly) signatures, common!

    Comment by Metroid48 — May 20, 2008 @ 5:01 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Powered by WordPress